Waisotime, the company that produces the Mosquito ‘anti teen’ device has responded this morning with an announcement for a replacement gadget for customers who face having their anti teen devices banned under new legislation. The ATERD (Anti Teen Electronic Radar Device) Module will be available in shops from early next week and will allow current owners to trade in their old units for a smaller more deadly alternative.
Waisotime has called it a “revolution in anti social behaviour management” and has invested over £4million in researching and developing a new and formidable anti teen device for the domestic market.
“QuinitiQ have already sold millions of units of this device to African regimes looking to control unruly and rebellious populations, hault invading armies and make habitable land inhabitable” said Michael Sledgehammer-Crowbar, CEO of Mosquito. “The device is simple and sleek, there is no installation time and it is %100 effective at contact”
Waisotime have bought the rights to the domestic market for this device which can be concealed underneath bushes, shallow dirt and even disguised as a portable CD player.
Upon contact the device explodes showering mobs with burning hot shards of shrapnel.
In tests yobs and children suffered horrific and terrifying injuries, but the peace and tranquility of the parks, playgrounds and amusement arcades where the device was tested was kept, ensuring a child/teen free environment.
Consumer groups felt that this device meant a new era for the management of anti social behaviour. “Not only is it more effective then the Anti Teen device that emitted a high pitched sound, it is loud enough to let you know that you need to replace it too” said Glennda Macaroni, Chairperson of the Association for the Unethical Treatment of Children and Screaming Babies, “I’m going out to replace my devices with a whole field of these new cheap alternatives”.
